You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
