how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
