Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
