If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
