john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I FOUND THE LEGS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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