its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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