awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
