Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
