apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
