Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
