found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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