I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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