If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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