She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
