When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
