New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
