He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
