she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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