the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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