i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
