I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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