i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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