i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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