if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
