I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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