i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
