Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
