i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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