you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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