Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I smell like Dick and happiness
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
