I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
