somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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