How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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