I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
babies were throwing up all over the place
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
