No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
