WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
