try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
