it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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