ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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