My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
