I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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