btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
