so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
