I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
