apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
