hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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