I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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