She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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