Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
