I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
