I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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