we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
