my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
